Im Sorry for your loss,
I can tell from your question you are a person of deep faith, and feel you are being tested in the hear and now. Times are hard and the hurt stabs plain through you, I have lost my father recently, I never thought I would be able to keep breathing without him, but I have been saddened and joyed at the same time for the same reasons for just knowing him and thinking what he would have done, some of the silly things he said. It's hard, yes with time it passes and gets better and gets worse, but I don't think it will ever go away, nor should it.
Look in the Mirror, You are your Mother now I'm sure of it, you have studied her your whole life, you know what she would have done or what she would have said. take comfort in that. is she watching down over you, YES, she is in you, you are part of her, pass this on to the loved one around you, this makes you strong inside where it counts. never forget and don't be affraid to call upon her memories no matter how hard it will be a source of strength to propell you.
May GOD bless and protect over you in you times of loss and sorrow and guide you to your new path in life.
The Lord will never put a load upon you more than you can bear.
I hope this brings you some comforts, I will pray for you.
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